On the rare quieter days, I'd immerse myself in crafting processes and procedures, aiming to streamline the onboarding experience for new employees, as well as reduce the potential day-to-day chaos. This erratic dance, devoid of any semblance of routine, made sense in the context of our growing family business. It was a time of all hands on deck, learning on the fly, and diving headfirst into whatever challenge the day threw at us. The adrenaline of it all, the constant problem-solving, was exhilarating.
... the chaotic "routine" that once felt invigorating in business now feels overwhelming in fatherhood.
Embracing a structured daily routine is akin to putting processes and procedures in place to run a smoother, more profitable, business. Perhaps it is also like calibrating the navigation systems of a spaceship! It's about ensuring a smoother voyage, even when darting through the unpredictable asteroid belts en route to Mars. The benefits of a routine are manifold, influencing not just your day-to-day, but also shaping the little universes of your kids. As I work on laying down this foundation, I've come to realize the immense value it brings, especially when juggling the myriad responsibilities of parenting three young boys:
Predictability for the Kids
Children, with their boundless energy and curiosity, find comfort in the familiar. They thrive on predictability. When they can anticipate what's coming next, it instills in them a sense of security. This predictability reduces the anxiety of the unknown. Think about it: isn't it easier to transition from playtime to mealtime when they know it's the usual sequence? Whether it's the comforting routine of a bedtime story followed by lights out or the expectation of a snack after play, these consistent markers help them navigate their day with more confidence and less chaos.
Structure for Dad
The world of a stay-at-home Dad, and parenting in general, is vast and often unpredictable. When I was in the thick of the retail business, days when the parking lot was jam-packed with clients waiting on delayed shipments, it was the routine of chaos that anchored me. As a stay-at-home Dad, chaos is NOT what you are wanting! Amidst the whirlwind of diaper changes, surprise spills, and impromptu dance sessions, a proper routine acts as an anchor. A routine provides a roadmap, a clear direction amidst the delightful chaos of parenting. It's more than just a schedule; it's a reassurance that amidst the unpredictability of child-rearing, there's a familiar pattern that gives your day purpose and a sense of accomplishment.
Efficiency
Time, especially with three kids under five, is a precious commodity. A well-oiled routine is like a secret weapon in maximizing this limited resource. With a set routine in place, the mental load decreases. There's less time spent in the dilemma of "What should we do next?" or "Did I forget something?". Tasks, be it household chores or child-related activities, become more streamlined and manageable. Creating a routine as a stay-at-home dad feels strikingly similar to my days in the business, where I crafted procedures and organized workflows. Creating a Dad-Routine is akin to designing a well-thought-out process where each task seamlessly transitions into the next, much like how a well-executed business plan brings success and satisfaction.
1.) Start with the Non-Negotiables
Every day has its pillars, the unmovable events that structure our time. These could be meal times, school drop-offs, or the sacred nap times (a blessing for both kids and parents!). These non-negotiables act as the foundation of your routine. By building your day around these fixed points, you create a framework that can support additional activities and tasks.
2.) Balance is Key
A day has many facets, especially for a stay-at-home dad. It's essential to strike a balance between personal time, child-rearing tasks, and household chores. It's a juggling act, and while it's tempting to try and keep all balls in the air, it's crucial to remember that it's okay to drop a few. The aim is progress, not perfection. Each day is an opportunity to learn and adapt.
3.) Involve the Little Astronauts
As my kids grow, I've realized they're eager to help, even with the smallest tasks. Whether it's setting the table, picking up toys, or helping with laundry, these small responsibilities not only lighten my load but also instill a sense of responsibility and accomplishment in them. It's a win-win!
4.) Household Chores - The Final Frontier
Admittedly, this is a domain I'm still trying to master. The sheer volume of tasks can be overwhelming. But I've found that breaking them down into smaller, more manageable tasks makes them less daunting. Instead of staring at a messy house and thinking, "I need to clean everything," I focus on smaller goals, like "Today, I'll tackle the living room." It's about taking baby steps, making the mountain of chores feel more like a series of molehills.
5.) Stay Flexible
As much as I advocate for a routine, I'm also a realist. Life, especially with kids, is unpredictable. There will be days when things don't go as planned, when routines are thrown out the window. And that's perfectly okay. The routine serves as a guide, a suggested path, but it's not set in stone. It's there to provide structure, but there's always room for spontaneity and adaptation.
The dream of a "flawless" day, where every task aligns perfectly, might be enticing, but it's not the pinnacle of this journey.
But as I navigate this path, with every story I read at bedtime and every little wound I tend to, a profound realization strikes me. The dream of a "flawless" day, where every task aligns perfectly, might be enticing, but it's not the pinnacle of this journey. It's those tiny triumphs, the wisdom gleaned from the occasional stumbles, and the sheer delight in witnessing the gradual strides we make as a family that truly count. We have to remember that it's less about chasing an elusive perfection and more about valuing growth, applauding our progress, and truly savoring every twist and turn of the stay-at-home Dad adventure.
Cheers,
Kenley